“You have arrived at your destination,” my GPS stated last Saturday afternoon. As I sat in my car in the parking lot of yet another shopping mall this simple phrase prompted elaborate thoughts about my journey and purpose in life. The thoughts/words that came to mind were the following: Crossroads, Faith, and Being.
I have, like many others, come to a fork in the road a time or two in my life. The first of which was going to college; leaving the comforts of home, the world in which I was coddled felt exciting. Here was my opportunity to enjoy freedom and instead what I focused on what needing to excel, always looking toward the day when I would graduate and receive a piece of paper which told me “you’ve arrived!” Then, I thought, only then, would I truly be free.
The time came. I graduated college and moved into my first apartment. I was satisfied but still not content. The veil of graduation fell and I was looking toward the future, still unable to truly sit in the present. I starting working a job that paid the bills but my mind was always on the future. “When I have this or until I get that…” I need to push harder.
I received a Master’s Degree and started working in my dream career field. Still, I was unsatisfied. It wasn’t because I didn’t love my job or my life but because it’s always been so difficult for me to deal with being.
I find myself at another crossroads, thinking of my journey and what my conception of a “destination” is. Maybe my GPS has a point, maybe each place I go to, and each time I “arrive” I should appreciate it more, be more in the present and, in all honesty, have a heck of a lot more gratitude for even “arriving.”
The question now becomes what am I going to do with this new-found knowledge (that I’m sure I’ve been taught hundreds of times before)? I have a choice to stay the same path and continue to worry about a future I cannot control or I can do something different. The opposite of fear is faith. I’m terrified (in a good way…if that makes sense) for the road ahead because my life is going to be changing over the next few months. One thing for sure is that I will never know, so there is no use worrying about it. Of course that is easier said than done and that’s where faith (and a lot of prayer) comes in handy.
I wake up every morning and pray. I ask God to watch over me and my family and then I ask to be of service. Living in the present is the only way to enjoy the journey because who knows, maybe the journey is the destination.